Saturday, November 23, 2013

Week 2 Challenge: Brown Bag Lunch

Okay so my challenge for last week was to prepare my lunch for the next day every night of the work week. How did it go?
  • Results: I only missed one day of not fixing my lunch the night before. I take a lunch with me daily already to save money and to eat healthier but, I usually make it in the morning. Preparing my food the previous night before allowed me to have more time in the morning to actually do my hair and make up thus preventing me from looking like I just rolled out of bed every morning! Did I keep this habit? Not really, after I come home I just kinda crash and don't feel like lifting a finger. But one unexpected habit I kept was doing my hair and make-up in the morning! 
Reasons Why You Should Pack Your Lunch 

  • It's Healthier!- You can cut on hundreds of calories by packing your lunch. Make sure to include fresh foods such as fruit, vegetables, lean protein like chicken or turkey and whole wheat bread. If you bring chips, cookies, and other processed foods it defeats the whole purpose. 
  • You'll Save Money!- The money saved from eating out can be seen immediately! If you spend just $5 every day of the workweek then you are spending $100 a month on just eating out. You can literally take $25 and pack healthy lunches for the month. Who wouldn't want an extra $75 a month? 
  • Increase Productivity!- Have you ever eaten a heavy meal and gotten the -itis? That's what happens when a person eats processed foods heavy in fat, salt, and sugar. Not surprisingly this is what happens when people at work eat quick fast food for lunch. Your blood sugar has a quick blood surge and then quickly drops bringing you down with it. Not to mention you will more than likely become hungry again in a few hours. 

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Once a Week Challenge: Week 1

Week 1 Challenge: Taking the Stairs

So for my first challenge I decided not to take the stairs any opportunity that I got. How did it go? Well I only took the elevator one time this week and walked 5 stories twice this week at school so it went pretty well. I saw a poster in an elevator that walking up just two flights of stairs daily can help you lose up to 6 pounds a year! That's a lot of weight 'specially for a shortie like me. I don't know how true that stat is but I know that my butt and core will definitely thank me for it! This will be a habit that I will continue to keep and as a result I am already a 1 % better person for it!

Some Really Good Reasons to Take The Stairs

  • Climbing just two flights of stairs everyday could result a loss of 2.7kg or 6lbs per year. Six flights a day could help you trim nearly 18 lbs. Why Weight?
  • Adding stairs to your day can add years to your life. Studies show that risk of cardiovascular disease and death is lower among those who are regular Stair climbers.
  • Stair climbing can also add life to your years. Those who climb stairs on a daily basis have greater leg strength and aerobic capacity, allowing them to participate more fully in a wide range of daily activities.
  • Taking the stairs is often faster than waiting for an elevator during peak usage times. Take the test and time your trip. Often for trips of 7 floors or less, the stairs are the quickest way to your destination.
  • Using the stairs requires no special skill, equipment or clothing and it burns twice as many calories as walking. Step right up!!
Read the rest of the list here


Friday, November 1, 2013

How Great is Your Diet?

90 % of Americans say They Eat a Healthy Diet...

We know the byline is largely untrue (no pun intended). According to a study by Consumer Reports, just 1 in 10 Americans admitted to having an unhealthy diet. For so many healthy eating people we still have such an enormous issue with being unhealthy. I had to face the facts that I wasn't eating as healthy as I thought I was.It was this confusion that led me me to give up on losing weight and eating healthy over and over again. My point is: most people don't know what eating healthy is. When the normal diet consists of high saturated fat, fructose, and other processed foods, your idea of diet is very unclear.

The Confusion: 

Many people don't know the first thing to do with these types of foods.
Anything that is processed is inherently bad for you. Yes, I know that you know that but because of the way media portrays "fat" we are confused as to what is processed and what's healthy. 

My first thought about eating healthily  was OMG, I cannot sit here and eat on raw broccoli and carrots everyday for the rest of my life! I rebelled against the idea of eating healthy thinking that if I just exercised enough I would be okay. I thought people who ate healthy were living extreme lifestyles. Then I realized that what is considered "clean" and processed foods are much more diverse than what I thought. 

This are not the only types of processed foods, but the media will have you to believe that it is.

The Clarification:

I actually cringe when I see people at the grocery store who are attempting to go on a diet buy a million lean cuisine dinners. Anything that is preserved in any shape or fashion is processed. In middle school we learned that people didn't always have refrigerators so they would salt their meats to preserve them throughout the winter. That's pretty much what Applebees has done to your honey BBQ wings. Processed foods contain tons of salt and other chemicals. If it falls under this list, it's processed. 
  • canned foods
  • t.v. dinners
  • anything frozen in a box or bag (except flash frozen vegetables and sometimes even those contain loads of salt)
  • almost all restaurant meals unless stated otherwise
  • anything in a box on the grocery shelf
  • most meats in grocery stores
  • lunch meats
  • candy
  • sweets 
  • sugared yogurts
  • anything with white flour
  • cheese
  • anything other than water, tea, or coffee
  • all vending machine foods
Some milk products and fresh vegetables will have chemicals in them or on them as well. I know what you're thinking, well dang what is safe to eat! Yea, it's pretty depressing. But the good news is, you don't have to cut out everything like bread, cheese, milk, and meat. It's just about finding a balance. 

The Alternative:

It's all about changing the way you think about food, about what are the right ways to prepare food, and what are the unhealthy things to eat. Here are some tips to help you get started. 

Don't eat until you're full. If you are stuffed, I guarantee you overate.

Don't eat foods that are smothered in sauces or creams, this is like eating pure fat. Red sauces are always better because they are tomato based.

All flavored drinks have more sugar in them than you need for the whole day. It really would be best if you could cut this all the way out.

Count your calories. Myfitnesspal is a wonderful app and their online community is unbeatable. Really pay attention to your macro-nutrients (fat, protein,carbs). For the longest I never looked at these but when I did it was a reality check. I was still eating way too much salt, sugar, and saturated fats even though I called myself being on a diet.

Flash freeze your veggies to save on money. As a college student I know how it is to be on a strict budget. Who has time to cook and buy new groceries every week when your veggies spoil? I recently learned about a way to preserve your vegetables. It's called blanching your veggies. Basically you boil your vegetables for 2-3 minutes, run them under cold water for 2-3 minutes and then freeze them.

Bonus tip: Put your vegetables and meats into individual bags and freeze them. That way when you come home your stuff can defrost in like 20 minutes instead of 3 hours AND you will only eat what you cut therefore saving you even more money because now you're not wasting food!

I guarantee you I struggle so hard with eating healthy myself, especially not eating until I'm stuffed. But you can't give up because giving up on being healthy is really like giving up on your self. Share your ideas on how you have tried to become healthier. 

How to Become 70% Better in One Year

We all create New Year’s resolutions and goals because as human beings we have this innate drive to become better and better. It is the bane of our existence and the driving force behind evolution. Today I was inspired by an article posted by entrepreneur week 2013 that can be found here. It was an article giving a tip for businesses to increase their user experience by making 1 simple improvement a week. If that one simple improvement causes a 1% increase in user satisfaction, this would lead to a 70% increase in user satisfaction yearly which would lead to sales doubling or tripling in profit.

            I’m all about self-improvement so I created the Once a Week Challenge. All you have to do is make one simple change in your life every week. This could be eliminating fast food from your diet or committing to saving $25 a week. It could be anything that wouldn’t take up too much space in your life but will also make you a better person for it.
            Just think of yourself like a business in which you are the user and your life are the profits. So changing one thing a week not only will increase self-satisfaction but you will gain 2-3x more of your life!
            I will post one change on my blog every week that I participated in. Feel free to join in the challenge with me at any time.

Life is about enjoying the journey not arriving at the destination. 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Death of Our Future: The I-Can't Pathology

I was recently watching a HBO documentary series called The Weight of The Nation:Kabreeya’s Salad Days and this episode in particular was about a young lady striving to make a difference in her community by promoting a healthier diet in her school. The determination of this young lady was nothing short of remarkable. She is a part of a family that suffers from obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. She’s seen her mother have to undergo a gastric bybass surgery and her little brother is already nearing 200 pounds at age 8. It seemed that she lived in an impoverished area where no one in charge seemed to care about what the community ate. Her school served unhealthy food and rejected Kebreeya’s proposal of a salad bar.

What impressed me was that Kebreeya was an activist and already knew at a young age that anything she wanted to do was possible. How many of us can say that we truly believe in our capabilities, even as adults? Many suffer from an I-can’t-do-it attitude, including me. This holds us back far more than what we realize. Somewhere along our young lives, someone told us that we couldn’t do something we wanted to accomplish, whether it was becoming an astronaut to not being allowed to explore the woods in the back of our yards. At that moment, something dies inside of us and the I-can’t-do-it pathology takes over. How many leaders, innovators, teachers, and activists die at this moment?  It is strongest in the poor areas, the hoods, and the ghettos were everywhere these children look there are people and actions telling them they can’t.

 It is up to us as adults, parents, and leaders to show kids that they can-do-it, whatever “it” may be. Most importantly we need to be able to tell ourselves the same. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

A Satire: What Black People Must Do To End Racism

I absolutely love this list. I thought I would share it with you guys. It's in response to Don Lemons's comments on Monday-hell throughout the week!

1. It is the responsibility of the Negro to reject any history of America that includes slavery. Reminding the Negro of slavery will cause him to resent all white people, even though slavery ended years ago. Slavery must not be regarded as American history, and must be retroactively deleted from history and removed from any curricula.
2. It is the responsibility of the Negro to stop saying “nigga”, “nigger” or any variation thereof. When Black people use the word nigger, they are responsible for its usage by white people. This is especially true for Black Hip Hop artists, that have given the word mainstream credibility. The Negro cannot complain about other races using this term if they insist upon using it themselves. If Black people stop, it will go away overnight.
3. It is the responsibility of the Negro to never acknowledge the existence of police brutality or racial profiling by law enforcement. The Negro must maintain the correct posture, articulation, appearance and professionalism as determined by whites, in order to avoid abuse and mistreatment by law enforcement. Law enforcement is only performing their assigned duties to keep the rest of us safe. There is no such thing as racial profiling.
4. It is the responsibility of the Negro to always dress in a respectable manner. The Negro must, at all times, dress professionally with impeccably pressed trousers and non-threatening white button down shirts. Ties are preferred. The Negro should try to avoid sneakers, sweats, baggy jeans, hoodies, or any other apparel that may constitute a thuggish, frightening appearance or suggest that he may be concealing a weapon or drugs. These types of clothing, however, are perfectly suitable for whites.
5. It is the responsibility of the Negro to discontinue the use of slang, “Ebonics,” African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) or any regional dialect/vocabulary that is not universally recognized and accepted by American whites. This language is confusing and frightening to white people, and they will not accept this language or respect the Negro if he speaks this way.
6. It is the responsibility of the Negro to uphold the tenets of equality by not supporting Black-only media or enterprises such as BET, The NAACP Image Awards, Essence and Ebony magazine, or any entertainment that directly targets and celebrates Black people or has the word “Black” in it. When the Negro creates his own entertainment and media spaces or participates in them, he is perpetuating the exclusion of white people and enforcing the kind of segregation he is so fond of bemoaning. At the same time, the Negro must not acknowledge any exclusion of Blacks from mainstream media and entertainment enterprises.
7. It is the responsibility of the Negro to maintain hairstyles that are acceptable to American whites. This means discontinuing hairstyles such as Afros, dreadlocks, braids, cornrows, Philly’s, multi-colored hair, and other styles that may directly or indirectly suggest any sort of regional trends or cultural pride. For tips on definitive, acceptable hairstyles, the Negro must consult the expertise of white people and go to great lengths to control the texture of their hair to the extent that it mirrors that of American whites.
Read the rest of the list here

Sunday, July 21, 2013

New Poll Shows Single Black Men Want Long Term Relationships More Than Black Women

There's no good black men! That’s the rallying cry of single black women across America. For over a decade we have heard the same thing; it’s next to impossible for educated, black women to find love and marriage. Black women  have readily accepted this stereotype as the reason for the “epidemic” of unmarried black women. Shockingly enough, a recent study by NPR shows that 43% of single black men actually want relationships compared to 25 % of single black women. The radio broadcast can be found here. These results are greeted with much apprehension because people are so bent on proving that the opposite is true. There are a couple of theories to why this statistic may not seem true.

Economic Disparities
According to NPR, 2/3 of college degrees all African Americans receive are awarded to black women. So it seems that not only are black women more educated but they are earning more as well. With income and education as the most determining factors in social status, it could be a large status disparity between African American men and women.

It’s Not True
It could be that there are eligible black men and the marriage rates of African Americans are no more in danger than any other ethnic group in America. It could be the media’s hyper focus on black women’s lives that makes it seem as if there is a problem. It is a fact that an overwhelming percentage of people experience marriage at least once in their life regardless of their ethnic backgrounds. While it is true that people are marrying later and divorcing more often, black people are still getting married nonetheless. 

Either way, people feel strongly that these results aren't true. Sometimes when we are told something is true by the media we hold it to the golden standard of truth. We will subconsciously make it true in our lives. Maybe if we stop being so concerned with the unavailability of black men then we would be able to see all of these black men who actually want relationships. 

Friday, July 19, 2013

Signs You're Dating a Sociopath

            About 1 in 4 people have diagnosable mental disorders in the U.S. (NIH). About 1 in 5 young Americans have personality disorders. That is dangerously common. For every 4 people you date one could have a mental disorder. With all the craziness around with young people shooting, bombing, and killing other young people you need to know who you’re dealing with. Ok, that’s a bit extreme to think the people you’re dating will kill you but they can cause you severe emotional distress. You ever dated someone and everything seemed so perfect in the beginning but after a few months all hell broke loose? Was something just off? After the end of the relationship, did you doubt your sanity? You might have just have had an encounter with a sociopath. Below are signs you’re dating a sociopath.

·       Compulsive Liar

You will never meet anyone who lies so much. They lie about everything. They do it in an attempt to be who they think you want them to be. They reinvent themselves as the perfect person in your eyes. This is the way they seduce you and get you to love them. Of course none of it is true. They actually don’t have a personality or substance because they’re just a shell of a person. So they lie to fit   into a variety of settings. If you find out someone lied about everything when you first met them, run away! This means them lying about their occupation, housing   arrangements, car, and money. Don’t let them tell you they lied just to impress you. Its just manipulation!

·       Moves Way too Fast

 They move in so fast they will have your head spinning. But you will go along with it because they have spun a perfect fantasy of love. It will be good to be true.You will think this is your soul mate. Again this is just them being who you want them to be not who they really are. After they seduce you and see that you have fallen for them, they completely flip the script. Sociopaths move fast but that doesn't mean that every person who moves fast is a sociopath.

·    Always Shifts the Guilt to you When They've Done Something Wrong
 Every time you catch them doing something wrong you find yourself saying sorry in the end. It frustrates the hell out of you because you've done nothing, they are the one who messed up so why are you apologizing! This is because they feel they are never wrong. This way, they are always doing every thing right and you are always doing everything wrong. It will put them in a place above you where they can maintain control over the relationship and you.

·       You Find Yourself Isolated From Your Friends & Family *Support Circle

    This is another one that is not just consistent with sociopaths but it is consistent with abusive people. Remember abuse can be emotional and verbal not just physical. With a sociopath you are definitely being emotionally abused. They will make it seem as if you are the perfect person for them when they first meet you. Slowly they will start making negative comments about your friends and family. Then they will start accusing you of doing the same negative things your friends are doing. For example, if you go out with your friends once a week and go drinking at bars he will start to have you second guessing whether that is appropriate behavior or not. Soon you will find yourself changing to try and meet all of his criteria. This includes spending all free time with him or her and not   having a life of your own. They are intimidated by your social life because they don’t have one. They are insecure of your close friends because they are not able to maintain their own close friends, which brings me to my next point:
·       They Don’t Even Have 1 Close Friend

 Need I say more? You’re crazy if NO ONE wants to be around you. This is one of   the biggest red flags when it comes to dating.

  •  They Date Exclusively off Social Media Websites

No lie; I dated a guy who had met every single one of his girlfriends off of Facebook, including me. The reason for this is that they get to scope you out before they interact with you. So many people have their whole lives on their social media profiles so it would be easy to discern what you’re into. This way they can be the person you most likely will fall for. I know, scary isn’t it?

I know this list can seem a bit harsh. I mean are there really people out there whose sole concern is to “get you”. The answer is hell yes! And guess what? They don’t give a damn because they cannot feel real emotions.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Daddy’s Girls: The 5 types of Fatherless Women

            For the past year, I have been on a journey of exploring my inner world in an attempt to desperately gain an understanding and awareness of myself. In doing so I have come to understand why many of us behave the way we do. I have come to a conclusion: all of our needs, wants, and fears stem from our childhood. Pretty scary isn't it? People will think that little disappointments from their childhood don’t affect them when subconsciously it could be the driving force behind their entire life. We try to overcome or solve the problems from our childhood by repeating the situation over and over again in an attempt to master it. If something as small as getting rejected by classmates influence a whole life can one imagine what not having a father would do? There is this book called Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women  by Jonetta Rose Barras and in it she discusses the five types of women that are the procreation of fatherlessness.

1. The un factor:

            This factor is a feeling of being unlovable and unworthy. She constantly involves herself in relationships and situations that perpetuate this feeling she has for herself. She may get involved in an impossible relationship but try very hard to make it work. When it eventually ends in rejection and disappointment, it validates her unworthiness.

2. Triple fear factor:
            This is the fear of rejection, abandonment, and commitment. Our first relationship is with our fathers and by there being a lack of commitment in that first relationship, it makes these women truly fearful of commitment. They are involved in relationships that offer no real chance of commitment. The relationship again ends in rejection and abandonment further perpetuating their fear.

3. Sexual healing factor:

            This is the most widely known "daddy issue". The promiscuous girl. This factor ranges from promiscuity to total abstinence as well. The common factor between being promiscuous and abstinent is the lack of true intimacy. This woman fears loss so avoids intimacy at all costs. She cannot control the loss that comes with intimacy so she controls her sex life. This also commonly leads to women having children in an attempt to fill a void.  

4. Over factor:

            This is characterized by overreacting, overachieving, over doing something to the point of addiction. It can also be a trick and pony show in an attempt to tell her father you’ll be sorry that you didn't want me.

5. RAD factor: Rage. Anger. Depression
            Rage is anger directed outwards in either a positive way with a determination to achieve or directed in a negative way such as violence and destruction. Anger directed inwards is depression.  

Vanessa Simmons and her sister has always maintained a respectful image in the public eye. They are close with their father. Run DMC 
            Many women struggle with the absence of their father physically, emotionally, or both. Hopefully if you see yourself in one of these types you will come to see what is going on and talk to someone about it so that you can heal. Men be fathers to your daughters, it truly makes a world of difference. 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

5 Reasons Men Don't Approach You

5 Reasons why Guys Don’t Approach You

Stuck up is not always attractive!

Is everyone and their mama quite literally on the dating scene but you? Don’t chalk it up to the skewed male to female ratio because it actually might be you! Here are 5 reasons why you never get approached by men. 

1.  You are unapproachable!

         You walk around with a mean mug on your face. You dodge eye contact and your body language screams do not speak to me. If someone does have the balls to talk to you its awkward as hell as you do not smile and engage in the conversation. I used to do this and didn't know how I looked until someone asked me why do I look mean all of the time. Guys are terrified of too much of a challenge a.k.a being shot down. This is why most guys will approach a woman who is less attractive first before a prettier woman (save for the few ugly bold). If you're really attractive you have to show that you are open to being talked to by making eye contact, talking, and smiling. Yes guys should approach you first but they have to get a signal before they approach and they are keenly watching you for the signals!

2.  You don’t go anywhere 

         I had to tell one of my girlfriends that a man was not going to walk up to her door and knock and say Hey can I be your boyfriend? You have to get out there! That doesn't mean hitting the club scene every weekend but it does mean getting out every weekend. Go to places where you can meet the type of men you want to engage with. Where you might ask? What are your hobbies? If you don't have any go somewhere like poetry night at a lounge, a networking mixer, or museum. If you are single and want a boyfriend you have to put forth a little effort!

3. When a guy does get your number you are too difficult 

            Now I was the type of girl that would diss a guy for anything. I didn't want to put up with a guy that I didn't like from the get go. When I realized that my best friend always had a date and I was drifting alone in the wind I began to wonder why. She gave guys more of a chance even if she didn't like them at first sight. Guys are always going to go after what they want while most girls just wait to be picked. The disadvantage about never approaching guys is that 90% of the time they will not be exactly what you want. Sorry but not sorry. Once you get your shyness out of the way you can learn to strike up a conversation with a guy you really want to be with. Until then you will have to give the guys who approach you a try and who knows you might unexpectedly fall in love with a great guy that you would have otherwise overlooked!

4.   No confidence in your appearance

             Yes at first it is all about the appearance! A man cannot see your personality when he first meets you so this is the only thing they have to go off of. You should literally feel like you are the shit when you walk into a room not like you’re trying to hurry up and grab a seat before anyone notices your figure. It is about exhibiting an aura of feminine sexuality no matter what you have on. Have your head up high and shoulders back, nothing worse than a slouching woman. With that being said most women cannot feel confident unless they feel they look a certain way. So if you need to get into shape, do it just remember being skinny or losing weight will not cause you to feel sexy. It is truly a feeling that comes from within. People will notice. Notice that you are a sexy beast.

5.   You are too quiet.

           If you are in a social situation talk to guys. Show that you're fun. He'll want to be near you because he wants to have fun too! Make him laugh, that will charm him. It does not have to be overt but just having good conversational skills can go a long way in getting a man’s interest (one that you would want anyway). Personality is King only trumped by the Ace looks when it comes to a first impression. You can charm a guy right off his feet if you know how to speak! 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Why are 4 out of 5 African American Women Overweight or Obese??

Nearly 4 out of 5 African American women are overweight or obese according to a 2012 study by the CDC. Last time I checked that statistic 3 years ago it was 50% of African American women. This rate has climbed at a ridiculously alarming rate. What are some of the reasons that African American women are larger than any other group in America? I honestly do not know and will be researching more into this topic. What I do know is that the majority of women around me are getting larger and larger with me as one of the major gainers.

I know the first thing people like to say is it’s the southern food making black women overweight. But really all of my friends including myself didn’t get this way sitting at home eating fried chicken and collard greens because we didn’t eat home cooked meals in the first place. We were out eating late at night and picking up fast food for our fast paced lives.
I have a theory about the complacency of being overweight for black women. I think the cultural acceptance of it has a larger impact than the fast food or the maintenance of hair. When most black women gain weight they tend to gain it in their derriere, thighs, and hips. We all know the obsession with big booties has every slightly overweight young girl claiming she is thick. I actually have heard of women not wanting to lose weight for fear of losing their behind.
I believe that in white American culture it is less acceptable to be thick or overweight as the men do not like it so much. I know Indians are weight conscious and Asians are definitely not having that. Black people and Hispanics are known for their curvaceous figures because that is just the way their men like it. And there is nothing wrong with that but there is a fine line between thick and unhealthy.
Another reason thrown out is that black women do not have safe places to work out because they don’t live in neighborhoods safe enough to walk or run around. LMAO- Sorry but I think that is hilar! That is just a stereotype that all black people live in the hood. Sorry but not sorry, the majority of African American women do not live in the hood and they have access to gyms just like everyone else. If not, I’m sure they have a living room and a DVD player.
Also there is more acceptance of being overweight in the community by friends and peers. Exercising isn’t exactly promoted heavily as a favorite thing to do among young black women. I’m not saying that we don’t work out but it goes more along the lines of just going to the gym or starting a workout regimen just to lose weight not for a healthy lifestyle. We also don’t do many outdoor activities. While I hate to generalize this is true for my own experiences. I’m sure there are many young African Americans who live active lifestyles doing outdoor activities.

I think we all can admit that when someone mentions skiing, mountain climbing, or some other extreme outdoor activity we say, that’s for white people. Sad but true. I don’t think an activity has a color barrier anyone can do anything they want. Peer pressure could be preventing young black women from pursuing more active lifestyles. We all know that we do what our peers are doing and if they’re aren’t doing it we’re more likely not to do it either.  In the area of Atlanta that I live in there are always people outside running, whether it be 11am or 9pm they make it happen. I guess the saying holds some truth, When in Rome do as the Romans.
I have made the decision not to be another statistic. I used to be okay with being overweight until it got out of control and turned into obesity. I realize now that being at a healthy weight is uber important for your health, happiness, and optimum functionality of your body. Follow me on my journey to fitness and balance. I will be posting health tips, exercise tips, and motivation.
·         U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
·         The Office of Minority Health

For Great Fitness Tips for young busy women :

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Are you a High Status Person or a Low Status Person?

As a social scientist I am always intrigued by the way humans interact with one another. The other day I pondered the question of why do women reject men? It’s funny because I am a woman and I really don’t know. Much of our actions are seemingly instinctual or done subconsciously. I came across the conclusion that as women we reject or choose men based primarily on social stratification which simply put is the hierarchy of social classes in a culture. Every culture has social stratification and social status rules much in our lives. At least coming from the point of view of an early twenty-something year old woman in America.

Many men will scorn the world because they are rejected by a woman. I mean the world just seems so unfair because why can’t she see that he will treat her better than the usual rich and attractive men that she goes after. It is an old saying that we want what we can’t have and I believe that most women desire men that are above their social status. It saddens me because this leaves many good men with their hearts broken and hardened but women have to go after the person that would most likely be able to support and take care of her children. This can be a good thing because from a basic survival standpoint, one needs to be able to determine which persons are different and potentially dangerous. Also one needs to be able to determine which person has the best means and DNA to reproduce and help them survive. The problem with this is, if there is a group that is on the top that means there are people beneath them.
While surfing the net I found a hilar website called It’s a site for PUA (pick up artists). I have to give a legend key for all of the douchebag acronyms.

Apparently this whole PUA trend is pretty popular with forums and websites dedicated to the “art” of picking up women.  Although entirely sexist in nature, he does have some really good points! LOL
I especially liked his post on the qualities of high status people found here . It has some truth to it because some of these exhibit leadership capabilities and alpha male tendencies that can apply to both men and women. Here are some lists to know if you are a high status person or low status person.

Qualities of High Status People
·        They are attractive and desirable
It’s no secret that people who are physically fit and healthy are deemed not only more attractive but more likable and successful. There are people who feel that even though they have a little extra around the middle they are still healthy and happy. While this may be true, from a social standpoint healthy looking = happy successful person is usually the stereotype. They also keep up with the trends of the time. That is a part of being socially adept.
·        They are naturally confident
I think this one speaks for itself. I think it is pretty obvious when someone is cultivating false confidence. True confidence is not loud; it’s not bragging, or defensive. When someone is truly confident it is silently known, powerful, and expansive. These people believe in their abilities.
·        Socially gifted
 You know the type. The person who can effortlessly make friends everywhere he or she goes or charm an entire crowd with her wit. It seems like a natural gift that they’re born with.
·        They value their time and energy
This I especially agreed with because people who are successful are usually always doing something for the betterment of themselves. While others are doing things to seek pleasure and outside validation, these people are constantly working towards their goals.
·        People seek approval and attention from them
People will jump through hoops for these people and hang onto their every word. People see their value and worth and want to be around them. They are the ones sought out for validation.

Qualities of Low Status People
·        Seeking outside approval, acceptance, and validation
Some people don’t know how to validate themselves so they seek it from other people through attention. This translates into clinginess, needy, and desperation. They chase people and things for validation. They will do anything to make themselves feel worthy.
·        Hateful of people and things they cannot have or be like
You know that salty guy that called you out of your name when you refused to give him your number? Yea that would be this guy. Instead of appreciating or looking up to others some people become bitter and hateful. I don’t know why this is. Let rejection inspire you to be a better person.
·        They try to buy what they can’t earn
If you walk into the club saying, It ain’t tricking if you got it, then you my friend, might be low status. This actually makes you look lower than dirt. This is saying you’re so low that you have to give money in order to be accepted. At the end of the day no one will respect you or like you anymore for trying to buy friendship, love, or sex.
·        Socially awkward
They don’t know how to just relax and be themselves around other people. And when they open their mouths they say things that are inappropriate to the situation. They either do too much or not enough. Social skills is basically being able to feel others out and being appropriate to the group of people, and the activity.
·        They are constantly fearful and jealous
These people believe the world is a big scary place. They are prone to outbursts of anger at people and are usually pessimistic. Instead of taking steps to fix their problems they just complain. They use manipulation to control the people around them because of their jealously.
Well I hope this can save some of you high status people from acting so low status (LOL). Also, men you can use this information to your advantage to attract some high status women. For everyone else who is happy with the way that they act now at least you can know why that actress you’re stalking doesn’t return your calls. It’s not you, it’s just social psychology.
So if you are a man who is unemployed or underemployed, fiscally challenged, and already have a few children, don’t be angered next time a woman rejects you; it’s just evolution at work.


Monday, May 20, 2013

Unlikely Signs of Depression

10 signs you might be depressed and didn't even know it.

Very interesting list I found today on of unlikely depression traits. As a person who has battled depression, I have crazily been through most of them! Check out the list to see if you have any of these bizarre behaviors. 

1.      You are overconfident and fearless- This could actually be a protective behavior for your ego.

2.      You’ve noticed your tendency to drink has increased over the years- The drinking binges of your late teens-early twenties are supposed to dwindle down the older you get. If you find your drinking to be more commonplace as the years go on then maybe you’re headed towards an addiction.

3.      You’re bedding everyone with a pulse- Many people turn to sex as a way to not deal with their depression. This will leave you feeling worse than before and can lead to a vicious cycle.

4.      Conflicts easily escalate into fights- All of a sudden now you have a chip on your shoulder and every little thing pushes you over the edge. It could be an internal conflict brewing.

5.      You feel nothing – This to me is a little creepy (sociopath). Feeling is what makes us human but, in some people’s attempt to not feel pain they shut off everything alienating themselves from their loved ones and the rest of the world.

For the rest of the list click the link below:

How to Create Self Love

A Guide to Self Love

            In search of a really motivating piece this morning, I stumbled upon this gem of wisdom. It’s a step by step approach to loving yourself. It is the best description I have found yet of achieving self love. I just had to share this one. I hope it inspires some of you!
            In the article, the author details the path to self love in 3 concessive steps; none can be achieved without the former step being accomplished first.
Self Care
Self care is the first step towards self love. Self care is just what it says- caring for self. It doesn’t necessarily means giving yourself a shopping spree. This means making sure you are healthy, nourished, and protected. It means having all of your basic needs met. No matter how much we try to change our subconscious into believing we are worthy and good, it will not change until we provide ourselves with self care. When we do this, our conscious and subconscious will match up and only then can our subconscious believe what we are trying to tell it.
            Self Love and Self Loathing are both cyclical in nature. It is important that we increase our awareness or we will become entrapped in the cycle of self loathing.
 We are all in pursuit of happiness and this can only be attained through the path of total self love. Without love for self, we are not able to fulfill our true potential and promise.  Click on the link to continue reading the steps to self love. Enjoy!